Paper? What’s that?

You know what I don’t understand?
E-readers.

I mean, seriously. The concept doesn’t make much sense when you think about it. Who came up with this idea and actually made it marketable? Did it go down something like this:

“Hey guys, I have a great idea! Let’s make a device that allows you to download digital forms of books onto a portable device so that the book is able to be taken ANYWHERE! It’s a good idea, because the book is portable. And, here’s the best part: No more pages! You don’t have to worry about flipping anymore pages! This is HUGE, you guys! I can’t tell you how exhausted I get from physically having to open an actual book and turn every single page. I mean, 300 pages!? That’s a lot of effort, and I just simply can’t be bothered anymore. Plus, now I can carry up to 500 books with me all at one time! Five-hundred books you guys! Let alone the fact that I can only really focus on one book at a time. That doesn’t matter. Now I can have 500!! Seriously you guys, this is like, the best idea since bottled water.”

Well, I’m convinced.
I know when I read a book I have to stop and catch my breath sometimes from flipping all those pages. And let’s not even begin to address the issue of portability. My books are so non-portable it’s ridiculous. The way they fit into my bag or purse is just not acceptable; I think they need to be bigger and clumsier.

And they also need a battery.
And a charger for said battery.
And a screen that isn’t able to be read outdoors. Oh wait, they fixed that problem? Well, good for them! I’m so glad I’m now going to be able to read my new e-book outdoors.

Gosh, I don’t know how I ever lived reading those archaic pieces of paper. I mean, hellooooo, paper?! What is this, the Middle Ages? Paper is sooooo 5 years ago. And I am head-over-heels about the fact that I can now carry 300 books and 200 magazine issues with me. I really don’t know what I’d do without being able to do that. I don’t know how I lived without having all those! I also like the fact that I have to have this special case for my new book because I have to protect it in case I drop it. I don’t want to shatter its screen or chip the corner; that would just be terrible.

And oh my gosh you guys, the price on this new book is just out of this world. It’s so affordable. I remember paying $6-$15 for a nice novel, but now I just pay a price of $80-$100 for my lovely portable book, and then also pay for each book I want to read!

Also, what’s a library?

 

My Ancestors Are Cooler Than Your Ancestors

Today I thought I would bring you a little Interesting Fact About Myself. I haven’t disclosed too many personal details on here, but this seems like a good place to start.

Let’sa goooo! (Yes, that was Mario.)

••••••••••
So, you want to know why my ancestors are cooler than your ancestors, yeah?

Ok, I’ll tell you why.
In one word.
Ready?

Unicorns.

Yup, you read that correctly.
Unicorns.
Just let that sink in.
Mmmmm.

So, why unicorns?
Well, they’re Scotland’s national animal. So naturally that trumps anything your ancestors have.

Except for maybe Vikings.
Nah, this even trumps Vikings.

I’m sorry.
I’m so, so sorry.
••••••••••

Be sure to stick around to discover more interesting facts about myself.
I hope that this has maybe sparked some interest in learning a few facts about yourself in the process.
If not, well, I tried.

 

Big Life Changes

My husband and I have been considering a big life change recently. I won’t be revealing very many details yet, just in case we decide against it or it doesn’t work out, but I will say that if this change occurs, my life will never be the same.

I’m excited.
I’m scared.
I’m nervous.
I’m happy.
I’m proud.

When and if this change comes, it’s going to require a lot of support from friends and family. I know I have the support of my sister and parents, and a close group of friends, but I’m really curious to see who lets go. A lot of people change their feelings towards you when something life-changing happens.

Anyway, just thought I would put this here since it’s on my mind. Ta for now.

Ridiculous Rulers

Gaius Julius Caesar Germanicus (a.k.a. ‘Caligula’) A.D. 12-41

Gaius Julius Caesar Germanicus, popularly known as ‘Caligula’ — which basically means ‘booties’– was possibly one of the most ridiculous rulers of ancient history. As the 3rd Emporer of Rome, he soon became the stuff of myths and legends. The legends are due to six main writers of Caligula’s reign, but all their accounts were written well after his death. Their names were Seneca the Younger, Philo of Alexandria, Tacitus, Suetonius and Dio.

Falling terribly ill 7 months into his reign, Caligula emerged as the tyrannical maniac we all know and love today. Although many stories of his rule are often dismissed as far-fetched myths, it is still fun to have a bit of a laugh at his expense. Let’s explore 4 of the most popular stories of his megalomaniac ways.

  1. Beloved Incitatus— The legend goes that Caligula owned a horse that he loved so very much that he had a marble stall fashioned for him, complete with an ivory manger and a jeweled collar. There are also written stories that the horse was fed oats mixed with flakes of gold. It is said that Caligula tried to appoint his beloved Incitatus as an official consul, but failed due to his assassination. Is any of this true? Well, we’re not entirely sure, but it sure is funny to imagine a horse as a consul. I have a feeling that he was not in favor of anything, and always voted ‘naaaay’.
  2. Dress-up– When Caligula came into power, he inherited a very large sum of money. Within 4 or so years, the money was basically all gone. (Most likely due to that marble horse palace mentioned earlier.) Caligula loved to throw lavish parties to show off his wealth. He invited all of Rome– peasants and aristocrats alike. During these parties, Caligula apparently liked to dress up as famous rulers and even gods. Legend says he actually invaded the tomb of Alexander the Great and stole his breastplate and paraded around his lavish parties dressed up as the famous ruler. Caligula also made appearances as Hercules, Jupiter (the Roman father of the gods), Apollo (the sun god) and even Venus, who was the goddess of sexual desire. So, Caligula enjoyed cross-dressing as Roman goddesses, which really isn’t surprising given our next bit of hilarious information:
  3. Sister Dearest– Rumour has it that Caligula fancied not just one, but several of his sisters. Are the accounts true? Partly. While Caligula most-likely didn’t sleep with all his sisters, there is narrative accounts of him sleeping with at least one of them. There are also written accounts of homosexuality and partaking in the company of prostitutes. He would also scope out women– married or not– at his lavish parties, bed them, and then openly discuss their sexual pros and cons. If the women was  particularly terrible, he would sign as her husband and have her divorced.
  4. Caligula vs. Poseidon– Yes, you read that right. Caligula believed himself to be on the exact same level as the gods, and as such, he decided he needed to go to war with them. The most popular story of his god-fighting ways was when he told his army that he wanted to fight Poseidon, the god of the sea. Imagine the reactions of the soldiers when being told they were to march to the sea and begin throwing spears at the water. When the army returned with chests full of worthless seashells as booty, Caligula determined he was the victor and then declared himself as a god.

So there you have it. Caligula in all his insane glory. Are these accounts true? I really don’t think we’ll ever know. Some of these accounts were written as much as 60 years after Caligula’s death. It is also said that most people weren’t very fond of Caligula (hmm, can’t imagine why…) and so the accounts were greatly exaggerated to insult him. It’s also possible that the writers were just too stuck in the mud to enjoy Caligula’s eccentric ideas of fun. Apparently all his odd behaviours didn’t sit well with his bodyguards, because in the end they decided to assassinate him.  Either way, Caligula’s life offers us a very hilarious bite of history.