Paper? What’s that?

You know what I don’t understand?
E-readers.

I mean, seriously. The concept doesn’t make much sense when you think about it. Who came up with this idea and actually made it marketable? Did it go down something like this:

“Hey guys, I have a great idea! Let’s make a device that allows you to download digital forms of books onto a portable device so that the book is able to be taken ANYWHERE! It’s a good idea, because the book is portable. And, here’s the best part: No more pages! You don’t have to worry about flipping anymore pages! This is HUGE, you guys! I can’t tell you how exhausted I get from physically having to open an actual book and turn every single page. I mean, 300 pages!? That’s a lot of effort, and I just simply can’t be bothered anymore. Plus, now I can carry up to 500 books with me all at one time! Five-hundred books you guys! Let alone the fact that I can only really focus on one book at a time. That doesn’t matter. Now I can have 500!! Seriously you guys, this is like, the best idea since bottled water.”

Well, I’m convinced.
I know when I read a book I have to stop and catch my breath sometimes from flipping all those pages. And let’s not even begin to address the issue of portability. My books are so non-portable it’s ridiculous. The way they fit into my bag or purse is just not acceptable; I think they need to be bigger and clumsier.

And they also need a battery.
And a charger for said battery.
And a screen that isn’t able to be read outdoors. Oh wait, they fixed that problem? Well, good for them! I’m so glad I’m now going to be able to read my new e-book outdoors.

Gosh, I don’t know how I ever lived reading those archaic pieces of paper. I mean, hellooooo, paper?! What is this, the Middle Ages? Paper is sooooo 5 years ago. And I am head-over-heels about the fact that I can now carry 300 books and 200 magazine issues with me. I really don’t know what I’d do without being able to do that. I don’t know how I lived without having all those! I also like the fact that I have to have this special case for my new book because I have to protect it in case I drop it. I don’t want to shatter its screen or chip the corner; that would just be terrible.

And oh my gosh you guys, the price on this new book is just out of this world. It’s so affordable. I remember paying $6-$15 for a nice novel, but now I just pay a price of $80-$100 for my lovely portable book, and then also pay for each book I want to read!

Also, what’s a library?